Beyond the Buzzword: A Real Approach to Trauma-Informed Education for Students With Developmental Trauma
- Allison Ellenwood
- Sep 15
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 16
I walk into the chilly conference room for my daughter’s education planning meeting. I know her behavior is inhibiting her learning. I also know the teacher and administration want help improving her academic, social, and behavioral performance. The weight of that is heavy on my shoulders — because I’m not just a parent of a child with reactive attachment disorder (RAD), also known as developmental trauma, I’m also a special education teacher who’s supposed to have all the answers, right?
Here's the truth — even with all the education and training I have, I didn’t learn much about reactive attachment disorder/developmental trauma in school. Such is the case for many educators. Most of what I know about RAD comes from my personal experiences with my child. And even with that hands-on, intense training, I can still feel over my head in how to explain it and how to help colleagues understand — because reactive attachment disorder is such a bewildering disorder. It doesn’t always present as it seems on the outside to others.
Trauma-informed care has become a popular concept in schools, but without a clear understanding of developmental trauma, efforts to help can backfire. When strategies blur boundaries or overlook the parent–teacher partnership, they can unintentionally reinforce insecurity instead of safety.
Even with all the education and training I have [as an educator], I didn’t learn much about developmental trauma in school. Such is the case for many educators. Most of what I know comes from my personal experiences with my child.
Reactive attachment disorder, or developmental trauma disorder, develops when a child’s earliest relationships — whether due to health complications and separation between baby and mother, inconsistency in caregiving, time in foster care, or other disruptions — prevent a secure attachment from forming. It results in an inability to form and maintain healthy connections. For some children, it also means intense and disruptive behaviors that may only appear around the people closest to them. For more information, read "What Really Causes Reactive Attachment Disorder? Understanding the Impact of Early Trauma."
Why Education Plans for Children With Developmental Trauma Are Especially Challenging
Education planning meetings can be emotional and overwhelming — especially with the compounded stress of a child’s behavior at home and the perception that someone is to blame (read "Families on Trial: When Judging Parents of Kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder Does More Harm"). School staff rarely see the extra time and energy poured into a child with reactive attachment disorder outside the classroom. Educators and administrators may have great intentions but lack experience with children impacted by early trauma. Research confirms this gap: “RAD is rarely addressed in teacher training, which leaves educators ill-equipped to recognize the disorder or adapt their practices to the needs of these children” (Bosmans et al., 2020).
“Parents are the experts on their child,” said Heather Houze, Chief Operating Officer of RAD Advocates, a nonprofit supporting and advocating for children with reactive attachment disorder and their families. “They should have more say in their child’s goals and accommodations than they often realize.”
Trauma-informed care has become a popular concept in schools, but without a clear understanding of developmental trauma, efforts to help can backfire.
Houze points out that education plans for children with developmental trauma are not a one-size-fits-all process. “What to ask for can vary greatly depending on several factors,” she said. “What is the school observing or not observing? Where is the disorder on the spectrum? How does the disorder respond to help? Where is the disorder in its progression? All of this is what makes the process so challenging for schools and parents — and why having the right support matters.”
The Role of Felt Safety in the Classroom
Houze explains that a child with developmental trauma doesn’t just need academic support — they need to feel safe. “A true, internal felt-sense of safety is essential before meaningful learning can happen. That felt safety is deeply tied to the child’s attachment system.”
What safety looks like to an educator may not match what is happening for the child or family. A child may appear calm and capable in class, yet at home the same child may be overwhelmed, anxious, or even aggressive. If there is disconnection or lack of unity between school staff and parents, the disorder can feel less safe for the child. And when safety is threatened — even emotionally — the disorder can escalate in response.
This is supported by research into attachment-aware and trauma-informed schools. A University of Oxford study found that schools implementing these practices reported “reduced exclusions, improved staff–student relationships, and better engagement from children who had previously struggled to learn” (Hadley & Ohanian, 2022).
Because the school setting doesn’t require emotional intimacy, kids with reactive attachment disorder may appear calm, capable, or just mildly struggling during the day. At home, however, it can be a different story. This disconnect can make it difficult for educators to fully understand the child’s needs — and can leave parents feeling isolated and misunderstood. Some educators may not see concerning behaviors at all; others may see them but interpret them as typical developmental or behavioral issues. In either case, the root cause — developmental trauma — is often missed. Educators need the full story from parents in order to help the child feel safe.
Why Teamwork is Especially Important With Developmental Trauma
When schools see behaviors, they may step in with interventions like a Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP), 504 plan, or Individualized Education Program (IEP). But if these accommodations focus only on the behavior (the symptom) rather than the root cause, they may unintentionally give more power to the disorder — particularly if the accommodations increase the child’s sense of control.
At the same time, if schools don’t see the behaviors and assume the child is doing fine, they may conclude the parent is the problem. This creates isolation for the parent and missed opportunities for support.
What works best is a unified approach — one that sees beyond the surface and supports both the child and the parent. An effective education plan for a child with reactive attachment disorder should help calm the brain, foster connection, and, most importantly, avoid undermining the parent-child relationship.
Developmental trauma/reactive attachment disorder is rarely addressed in teacher training, which leaves educators ill-equipped to recognize the disorder or adapt their practices to the needs of these children.
Research into trauma-informed practices in schools confirms the value of structured support: “Schools adopting trauma-informed approaches reported improvements in student behavior, reductions in suspensions, and enhanced emotional well-being” (Maynard et al., 2019).
Consistency is at the heart of all of this. Children with developmental trauma disorder often feel safest when the adults around them are predictable and united. When schools and parents follow through in the same way, the child learns they can’t split the adults — and that stability begins to create safety.
It’s important to note: This guidance assumes the child’s parent is emotionally and mentally healthy. Children with developmental trauma may manipulate or triangulate to make parents appear unsafe. But when the parent is stable and supportive, a united front between home and school is critical for creating felt safety.
Heather Houze explains: “Children with reactive attachment disorder will often try to split adults — setting teachers and parents against one another — because it gives them a sense of control. But that survival strategy actually works against the felt safety they desperately need. When educators and parents stand united, it sends a powerful message to the child that stability and safety don’t come from controlling others, but from consistent, trustworthy adults.”
An effective education plan for a child with reactive attachment disorder should help calm the brain, foster connection, and avoid undermining the parent-child relationship.
It’s also important to note that “trauma-informed care” has become a popular buzzword in education circles, and sometimes it’s misunderstood. Being trauma-informed does not mean that educators should try to form an intimate, parent-like bond with a child. In fact, students with reactive attachment disorder feel safest when teachers stay firm in their role as educators, maintaining clear boundaries while redirecting connection back to the parent. This consistency and clarity of role help the child build trust and reduce confusion about where their primary attachment lies.
Small shifts — like offering high-fives instead of hugs, or redirecting praise back to the parent (“You worked hard on this, I bet your mom or dad will be proud to see it”) — can help the child associate safety and nurture with their family, not just school.
Education Plan Tips for Children With Developmental Trauma
As Amy VanTine, CEO of RAD Advocates, often reminds educators and families: “With developmental trauma disorder, consistency isn’t just about rules — it’s about safety. When teachers and parents respond in calm, predictable ways, it lowers the child’s anxiety and makes room for learning. That sense of safety is what has to come first.”
These accommodations work best when implemented by staff trained in trauma-informed care. For students with reactive attachment disorder, this means educators provide firm boundaries, predictability, and consistency in the classroom while redirecting connection back to the parent. Clear roles reduce confusion and help the child feel safe.
Here are some accommodations and strategies that can help students with reactive attachment disorder succeed in school while keeping the parent–child bond strong:
Designate a reliable point of contact — a trusted teacher, counselor, or paraprofessional — to enhance the child’s sense of safety.
Preferential seating away from distractions and close to trusted adults.
Minimize transitions between teachers and classrooms.
Provide advance notice of changes in schedule or environment.
Use visual schedules to reduce anxiety about what’s next.
Break tasks into smaller steps with clear instructions.
Give frequent, genuine positive feedback for both effort and results.
Respond with calm, neutral tones to de-escalate situations.
Request a Behavior Intervention Plan rooted in trauma understanding, not just consequences.
Use restorative conversations rather than punitive measures.
"Trauma-informed care” has become a popular buzzword in education circles, and sometimes it’s misunderstood. Being trauma-informed does not mean that educators should try to form an intimate, parent-like bond with a child.
Teach regulation strategies like deep breathing, sensory tools, and movement breaks.
Offer small group or 1:1 social skills instruction.
Provide guided practice in conflict resolution and peer interactions.
Facilitate structured peer activities with adult oversight.
Establish a consistent daily or weekly communication log with parents.
Be clear about cause and effect. Children with RAD need consistent connections between choices and outcomes.
Follow through the first time and every time.
Stay neutral and matter-of-fact. Avoid showing frustration or strong emotion.
Have a crisis plan in place for extreme behaviors.
Be mindful of diversions and distractions. Stay focused on the actual issue.
Communicate and interact in ways that reinforce the parent as the authority figure. Redirect praise and accountability back to the parent whenever possible.
Avoid “I” statements. These can feel too intimate or connecting and may activate the child’s defenses.
Avoid sticker charts, rewards, or token systems. These may create short-term compliance but don’t support long-term behavior change.
These accommodations work best when implemented by staff trained in trauma-informed care — an approach that recognizes the impact of early adversity and focuses on creating predictable, supportive environments (National Child Traumatic Stress Network).
Final Thoughts
Quality education plans for children with reactive attachment disorder depend on trust, consistency, and genuine teamwork between school and home. When educators and parents approach the process as partners — united in both understanding the child and supporting one another — the chances of meaningful progress increase.
As Houze emphasized, “Safety is the foundation. Parent–teacher collaboration is a vital key. Without this, meaningful learning can’t happen.”
A necessary caveat: If a child is truly living with an abusive or neglectful caregiver, collaboration cannot create safety. In those rare but serious cases, educators must rely on mandated reporting procedures to protect the child, while still approaching every situation with care and discernment.
Interested in training and other opportunities to learn more about developmental trauma?
Educators don’t have to figure it out all on their own. Email RAD Advocates at info@radadvocates.org to learn more about professional development opportunities.